Welcome to the land of bad grammar

The big TV screen talks down to us as we wait in the passport control line: "You've traveled a long way. And we know you're tired." It's the message of the good people at US Customs and Border Protection (CBP) at Dulles International Airport near Washington, DC. The message tells us to be patient as we undergo a three-step process to get our "ticket" to pass through customs.

Actually, our flight from Latin America was not very long - only four hours in a nice new plane with pretty stewardesses who made the trip enjoyable - and few of us appeared tired. And the CBP process wasn't bad, either. But that's not the point.

The video and the accompanying gung-ho posters are an embarrassment to all educated Americans. "Your attention and cooperation is required," the announcer says on the screen. "Attention and cooperation is required"? Since when is "is" plural? Where did the CBP scriptwriters, editors, producers, announcers and officials learn their English?

And then there's the split infinitive on the CBP posters that decorate the passport control officers' booths. A "Pledge to Travelers" proclaims, "We pledge to cordially greet you."  Again: Poor English. There is no reason why CBP publicists can't say it properly: "We pledge to greet you cordially."

More relaxed people might say that a split infinitive is no big deal, that it's part of our everyday language. But thousands of well-educated foreigners, who learned English as a second language, pass through the line every week and know that the sign is wrong. The fact is, it's a serious thing when United States government can't even use proper English in the video and signs that welcome visitors to the new, showcase international airport at the nation's capital.

Finally, on the same poster series, CBP brags that it is "A world class law enforcement agency." 

What useless boasting is this? Isn't this something that most people would presume without being told? Would travelers expect anything less at the gateway to the capital of the United States of America? Would any law enforcement agency of the US government not be "world class"?   

We might expect such silly chest-thumping in, say, Managua or Ouagadougou. But in Washington, DC?

Come on, folks. The CBP officers work really hard to keep all of us safe. Ineptly prepared welcome messages don't befit them. It's better to have no message than the foolishness on parade at Dulles.